I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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