Yo dont text me then not text me
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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