you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
