Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
