Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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