Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
