Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
