Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
