She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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