I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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