He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
