I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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