i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
