I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
