He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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