No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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