Say something about gay babies.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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