why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
