What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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