Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Alive.
So much puke
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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