On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
