Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
