remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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