His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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