well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
