Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
