i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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