this beer tastes like vomit already
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Floor bacon is actually really good
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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