my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
