Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I touched a dick in church today
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
