I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
