she looked like the before picture.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
