I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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