i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
we're making bets on your personal life
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
