so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
