ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
