do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
