on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
