Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
this just has baby written all over it
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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