I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
only you would photoshop your dick
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
