just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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