Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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