you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
