Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
