I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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