Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
