Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
