She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
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