Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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