I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
