so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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