the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
