Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
